Is ‘work life balance’ a thing?
Behind the quote series: Part 4
Before we head back to regular weekly messages from next week (which I like to call ‘Nurture Notes) I’d like to close out this final installment of our ‘behind the quote’ series, with something that is actually more of a saying than a quote, because here’s the thing...
There’s no such thing as ‘work-life balance.’
If you’ve read anything I’ve written since we launched here at Time and Pace, you’ll know that I’m absolutely not about productivity for productivity’s sake. I’m actually about what’s going on inwardly (mindset, spiritual & mental outlook) and outwardly (physical & relational circumstances), and how all of that affects what productivity might look like in any given season or stage in life.
Again, like I’ve said time and time again we’re not robots, and to be honest with you, the ‘work-life balance’ notion doesn’t really make provision for our humanness.
Now, before you think that today’s message is me suggesting that working hard is evil and that we should all just chill out a bit and turn our ‘out of office’ on over in our inboxes forevermore, that’s not what I mean. And actually, this is part of the reason that I think the notion of work-life balance is impractical. It suggests that all of the plates should be perfectly and simultaneously spinning and that dropping any one of them at any given point means you’ve failed.
So no, contrary to popular belief, I don’t think there’s much of an issue if someone wants to ‘burn the midnight oil’ for a few weeks in a row whilst working on a busy project. I actually think it’s counterproductive to force someone to ‘just stop’ whilst they’re in the midst of some major work. I’m sure you know as well as I do that sometimes you’re just ‘in the flow’ and you don’t notice the hours whiz by as your blank google doc finally fills up with words.
I’m aware that LinkedIn has recently allowed for a ‘stay-at-home-parent’ option to be included in the list of job titles on their site. (I’m also aware there’s been lots of mixed responses about whether or not to use this based on what potential employer’s views might be - but that’s another story for another day.) I personally think this is fantastic and allows for parents who wish or who are able not to do work outside of raising their children for a season, to have this be noted and recognised. Even acknowledging seasons like this to yourself can help you realise that this wasn’t a season of ‘not doing anything’. (If anyone still thinks that!)
Similarly, I don’t think there’s much of an issue if, after one of those particularly busy periods of non-stop work or raising little people, you have a few weeks/months/whatever where you’re not ‘go, go go’ and you actually sit back and take it a little easy... or easier.
If work-life balance exists, I think it comes in waves which last weeks and months, even years - not that it’s something you have to ensure you have every day.
Sure, make sure you go to the bathroom and eat a meal during the busy seasons, and make sure you take a shower and pick the laundry up off of the floor during your more chilled ones - but let’s not make the way we live our day to day lives clinical, robotic and full of ‘should’.
The Time & Pace framework looks at where you need to be present as opposed to where you need to be productive simply for productivity’s sake on any given day and this same framework can indeed be used thinking about an entire season/stage of your life. So with that, as ever, a journal prompt: ‘What stage of life do I know that I’m currently in, and what am I trying to squeeze into it from a place of ‘should’ because I feel like I’m supposed to?’
For example, perhaps you’re on a bit of a work sabbatical for whatever reason, and yet you find yourself checking your inbox every day ‘just in case’ you miss something important, which then leads you to reply, to hop into a quick zoom meeting etc etc.
Equally, you might be in the midst of a super important week or month at work, but you’re getting flack from your friends and family about not being able to catch up with or see them, which causes you to feel guilty, drop the work and perhaps later, struggle to get back into the flow you were in before welcoming the interruption.
When you’ve acknowledged and answered the question around what stage of life you’re in and you’ve accepted it and got comfortable with it, next, work out what sort of boundaries you’re wanting to place around it. For example, perhaps you’re okay with an hour a week of work stuff during your sabbatical on a set day at a set time, or maybe you’re willing to put in a weekly catch up slot with friends and family during a crazy month where you know you’re not going to be in touch much otherwise?
By the way, yes, I’m aware that sometimes life throws emergencies your way, which no amount of boundary planning can accommodate for. Obviously when there are emergencies, everything else goes out of the window again for a while - again proving that balance doesn’t really exist!
Essentially, my message today is both a challenge and a reminder. Don’t feel guilt for working hard for a season, and also make sure that a season doesn’t become a lifetime. Don’t feel lazy for taking a break, and then make sure a break doesn’t become a permanent state.
Keep going. Keep growing.
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