“Hope for the best, expect the worst…”
Behind the quote series: Part 3
In today’s installment of our ‘Behind the Quote’ series, we’re looking at something which the UK’s very own Primeminister was quote to have said as we were on the cusp on lockdown number I don’t remember.
‘Hope for the best… but expect the worst’.
I find this quote problematic for a number of reasons but first, let’s talk about the huge number of contradictions it brings up, shall we?
Hope literally defined is - ‘a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.’
So with the word expectation (definition of which is - ‘a strong belief that something will happen or be the case’) literally being in the definition of hope, how can these two words possibly be pitted against each other?
Whilst a healthy dose of ‘doom and gloom’ appears to be the norm (here in the UK at least), as I say in The Time Journal, I actually think that declaring our expectations protects us from pessimism.
It might seem strange to protect ourselves from pessimism, especially in today’s climate where so many are facing such hardship. I’m not for a second diminishing hardship, by the way. In fact, I’m trying to emphasise the fact that, at least in my experience, its inevitability hasn’t been found easier or more difficult by hoping it doesn’t happen.
When hard things happen, humans rise to the challenge. Whether rising looks like being able to pull yourself together enough to shower and get out of the door for work in the midst of debilitating grief, or painting a smile on your face for your spouse or your children whilst inwardly spiraling - you can do hard things. This is why I don’t feel that we’re any better off sitting in our houses worrying and expecting that those things will occur.
In fact, whether it’s something you subscribe to or not, you might find this helpful as the Bible says it best: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27)
I mean, even going back to politics for a second (which is absolutely not my area of expertise), when Boris Johnson made this announcement, I think that there was an air of people pleasing about it, to be honest. If you tell people to hope whilst also telling them to expect that their hopes will be dashed, what’s the point? We can do hard things and going into lockdown number whatever it was, showed us that. Why not just be up front if that's what you meant all along? Anyway, as we gradually begin to emerge from lockdown, here in the UK at least, we might have a couple more battle scars, perhaps even some deep wounds for some - but we’re still here. Did expecting the trials make them easier to withstand? Probably not, I’d imagine.
So a question for your journal today: ‘Can I truly be expectant about the things I hope for without allowing pessimism to creep in?’
How would you answer that, honestly? Let your pen and your mind wander as you freestyle your answer to that question.
Now that we’ve established that being expectant isn’t toxic positivity, and nor is it dismissing or diminishing the truth that very hard things have, do and will continue to happen, let’s talk a little more about what expectation is...
For those familiar with the Time & Pace framework, you’ll know that the ‘E’ in ‘T.I.M.E’ represents expectation. Although it’s the final part of the framework, I encourage those who use it to start with the end in mind. Without expectation (goals, vision, mission etc), our daily intentions are pretty futile after all.
So let’s for a moment imagine that your goal (expectation) is that you get a job promotion. My advice would be to create affirmations around that goal happening and perhaps even to visualise it coming to pass. If we were going by this ‘expect the worst’ way of doing things, we’d actually be planting seeds in our minds every single day which suggest that we probably won’t get the job, and we’re no good for it anyway, and there’s loads more better candidates, and inevitably what’s the point - or something like that. All of those thoughts which you thought you were putting in place so that you could ‘protect yourself if the worst was to happen’ are actually just feeding your subconscious mind.
Did you know that your subconscious mind is where most of your thinking and processing takes place? In fact, experts suggest that 95-99% of your thoughts come from your subconscious mind.
Don’t get me wrong, retraining your subconscious is no easy feat. It’s job after all is to protect us and keep us in our comfort zones. But we also know that nothing good ever really grows out of staying in your comfort zone, does it? So although our subconscious has our best interests at heart, we’d do well to try to override it at times. And how better to override it than to feed it with hope and expectation, which goes against the grain?
Whilst hope might conjure up a bit of wishful thinking as we anticipate the possibility of something great happening (whilst subconsciously believing it probably won’t), expectation causes us to dream and to do things we never thought possible, not because we’re naive, nor because we’re suggesting that nothing will ever go wrong, but because we’re allowing ourselves to operate from a ‘come what may’ position. Maybe things won’t work out, but let’s expect that they will. There is literally zero harm being done by operating from this.
So I agree with Boris in part - indeed, hope for the best. But expect it too.
If you’ve enjoyed this week’s post, please do share it as we can never be too expectant after all. If the concept of expectation is one you want to practice more, you might want to check out The Time Journal, which gives you daily room to share what you’re expectant for whilst also mapping out your intentions as to how you’ll get there and also not losing sight of yourself and self-care in the pursuit of it all.
In the meantime, thanks so much for reading.
Keep going. Keep growing.
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